SGL Café

Stress Sex ...

It's pathological with me, this reaction to stress. Dr. Phil would have a neat little explanation for it (which is why I hate his know-it-all ass), but still, like after 9/11 when I did some odd things in the search of comfort, whenever I feel major stress, I seek solace in sex. With the Jersey City Artist Tour almost here, I find myself distracted by every attractive guy in my orbit. Maybe it's the nature of the project (recreating DANCING WITH THE DEVIL and its dark erotic themes), but lately I flirt shamelessly like an alley cat in heat. Though that's not entirely unusual for me (I'm a flirt, its part of my charm), this time its different, this time I don't care who I hurt or offend. That's a very bad thing. Fortunately, a good friend from DC -- when I whined about my stress/sex connection -- gave me the best cut-to-the-chase advice ever: "Tell 'Little Taylor' to chill the fuck out and focus!" He's right. Thanx, Don. That's just what I'm gonna do. 3 days to go. Damn I'm horny. ~~ "Dancing..." on MySpace Press from across the pond ... "Dancing..." on ka-os | theory

In One Week ...

Yeah. I'm closer than you think. And I'm tired. Didn't get in 'til 3am, after spending the day in Trenton with Out IN Jersey editor Toby Grace - thrift store hopping for frames, then the arduous process of matting my prints for the Jersey City Artist Tour next week. Toby was a life saver, because the cost of doing what I'd planned had shot through the roof and my little wallet had developed a bad case of the shakes. So now, instead of spending $200 per print for the matting and custom frame, I spent a total of $25 bucks. They are not perfection, but at this point I don't have the strength to be anal about minor details. And truth be told, I don't give a damn about selling pictures - 'cause its all about the book. In one week. Remember that Obama speech 7 days before he was elected? It gave me chills. I'm running a revised version in my head now, 'cause in 7 days the first hurdle between DANCING WITH THE DEVIL and the film version will be cleared. And we'll keeping sprinting, leaping toward the finish line cuz its closer than you think. And for me, the goal is all that matters. Everything else is bullshit. ~

Featured Video ~~ Here's some fun from Team KLB - (to the beat of Lady Gaga)

Fifteen Days ...

This is the rewind. An old look for a new me. I stupidly deleted my entire blog template. I thought I'd saved the file, but I'd saved an old one - this one. *sigh* Oh, well. Everything old is new again. Those who've peeped SGL Café.com over the last few years know my 'Lasciviously Political' tag-line. Well, I retired that some time ago, got tired of it really, along with the politics that I used to rant about. I'd campaigned for Obama, made friends, lost friends (who never could except Hillary Clinton didn't win), but after Obama and all the hoopla, I was over politics. I needed a breather. I needed to do me for awhile. I'm still as lascivious as always (and proud of it), just less political. But that's what I'm doing now - me. I don't concern myself with activist causes that once made my blood pressure rise and caused me to get into a bar fight or two. Yeah, little gay boys tormented into suicide still make my head explode, but the best way to make a difference in this fucked up world is to do me, do what I do best, and take it from there. By being successful at what we do (critics, homophobes, and haters be damned), that's how we make change happen. I know I promised to talk about the difficulties of taking DANCING WITH THE DEVIL from the page to greater places (first stop on this journey, the LeX Leonard Gallery Oct. 3rd & 4th noon-6)... but there is no time to whine. And since the passing of The Man, my idol, E. Lynn Harris, there's a hole in the heart of black gay artistic expression. We all have to step out of our little boxes in order to fill it. So let's do this. Fifteen days to go. Damn. ~ "Dancing..." on MySpace Press from across the pond ... "Dancing..." on ka-os | theory

"Dancing..." off the page ...

Countdown to the Vital Voices group show at the Lex Leonard Gallery in downtown Jersey City. "Dancing..." off the page October 3rd & 4th ... "It's difficult to sum up When Romeo Wakes, the opening salvo in Taylor Siluwé's debut short story anthology. A string of adjectives easily spring to mind - shocking, surprising, sexy, surreal, gripping, frightening, brutal, numbing... Oh, and deeply poignant. When Romeo Wakes makes a statement: Siluwé's work is something different, a revelation, a bit special." ka-os || theory - London

A "Damn Shame"?

That's what one person in a gay Yahoo group had to say to this video below when it was posted under the headline "Whose younger brother is this -- and I do mean younger". The comments on Youtube for this video are harsh and deeply ignorant. "This gay shit is OUTTA CONTROL. The madness must STOP" "this boy is a fucking faggot." "Do you not have any masculine influences in your life? This is not cool son." I've come to expect that level of ignorance from the masses who comment on YouTube. But for a gay man to say this kid's performance is a "damn shame" leaves me speechless. I just had to share that with everyone because the depth of self-loathing in our community leaves me weak sometimes.

Is Pro-White Anti-Black?

There's been a dust up over this post on ka-os Theory -- You Only Count if you're Black, which bristled at this post on Darian Aaron's blog praising Black Gay Bloggers, suggesting reverse exclusion. The ensuing dialogue ripped old battle scars like an East Coast/West Coast rap beef that won't die when Darian responded using the method all beefs employ these days -- Facebook. As one responder on Darian's facebook page asserted, "Pro-black isn't anti-white". Okay. But does the opposite hold true? Does America's racial history preclude the mainstream rise of Pro-White groups without them being nefarious like the one above? Great questions; tough answers though. In such cases, I try to look at things from the other guys perspective. If you haven't checked out the link above and the connecting links do so now and then come back. I must admit there are valid points all around. Ka-os was on point with his observation, though, possibly, he was unaware that he was stepping into a minefield littered with the corpses of many who just wanted to do the right thing. Fair is fair, correct? Using that simple formula I butted heads with Jasmyne Cannick over the right of Shirley Q. Liquor (below) to exist in a world where the Wayans brothers make millions by putting on white-face and portraying 'White Chicks'. Naturally, I gathered a host of enemies who to this day still grumble at the mention of my name and use Charles Knipp's character as a retort for everything. **Oh, of course, somebody who defends Shirley Q would say that!!** Whatever. Fair is fair. And that will never change. Using that same formula, I've also decried the rise of Black Gay Prides (and added a few more to the list of those who don't like me). Now, I truly understand why we have needed them, and why, possibly, in certain areas of our nation we may still need them. But I think the ultimate goal for a rainbow flag waving community is to be all-inclusive -- like a resort. Isn't it? Branching off into individual prides will only lead to further division. Having said that, NYC should not have a 'regular' Pride and a Black Pride and a Latino Pride and an Asian Pride -- what's next, Special Pride, Little People Pride, Big-Boned People Pride, yada yada muthfukin' yada. With all the opposition against us, is it 'historically' wise to willingly divide ourselves? Wouldn't working with these entrenched organizations so that they live up to the dream and vision of the rainbow be much better? Tooting our horn is cool, Darian Aaron did nothing wrong in doing so. And yet, I agree with Ka-os wholeheartedly. See, there's that minefield, and why racial politics will always be so very complicated. So, is Pro White anti Black, and vice versa?

When I was Eleven ...

When I was Eleven... © 2009 Taylor Siluwé I wanted to be scientist. While other boys played with sports, I played with bugs. Though my attempts at creating Bugzilla by injecting them with all sort of junk always failed, I never gave up. For me, creating something new and wonderful - like a fifty-foot Potato Beetle – was infinitely better than practicing getting little balls through little holes, or down field without breaking my glasses. The other boys thought I was weird and loved telling me so, hourly. Through all the getting suddenly shoved into the lockers, mocked for getting A’s without really trying, laughed at for doing anything more outgoing than just standing quietly in a corner, I never once thought of wrapping a rope around my neck and hanging myself. But then again, maybe if it were all the rage at the time, I would have. Maybe. ~ Another Bullycide: Jaheem Herrera, 11, Kills Himself The Bullycide & Same-Sex Marriage Apathy Connection Whence Cometh Evil? Why Visibility is Da Bomb UPDATE: Anderson Cooper addresses Bullycide as prosecutors ponder criminal charges in the Jaheem Herrara case.

The Bullycide & Same-Sex Marriage Apathy Connection

I got this note recently in a same sex yahoo group: "Plain and simple men should not marry men and women should not marry women. Another waste of time when we as gay people should be worried about more important issues right now. Gay marriage my ass! IT IS NOT IMPORTANT!" Sadly, this is the attitude of many in the gay communtity. This issue reminds me of a line from the musical Funny Girl, the track Sadie, Sadie: "...oh how that marriage license works, on chamber maids and hotel clerks..." Barbra Streisand's character believed (as did all women then) that being married was the ultimate, being married meant something, it carried a powerful punch, it opened doors. So I agree that we have issues to worry about other than marriage equality, or, as I like to say, just equality -- because its really not about that "simple wedding band". For as long as they can deny us this basic right of human existence, and justify it for whatever reasons, it sends the unspoken message that: ...its OKAY to look down upon gay Americans, its OKAY to deny us an apartment or medical treatment, it's OKAY to fire us from our jobs, and its OKAY to kick the shit out of kids on the playground who are only suspected of maybe, possibly, being gay one day. By saying we don't deserve the right to [ fill in the blank ] shouts to the world that we're different, we're "less than", and opens the floodgate to discriminate, abuse, and even kill. That's unacceptable. That's why this seemingly unimportant issue is so very important. Some gays say they don't want to get married. Cool. Neither do I. But that's also aside from the point. And to even think that we can't work for EQUALITY and at the same time tackle all those other issues effecting us is pretty silly. Like Obama said, we have to be able to handle more than one thing at a time. And while we bicker over whether we should fight for this or that right, people, children, are dying. This heartbreaking story of an 11 year old who was bullied and called "gay" so much that he hung himself is becoming all too common. "Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover hanged himself by tying an electrical cord around his neck that was fastened to a support beam in his home after enduring another day of being taunted at New Leadership Charter School." And yet, many of us STILL sit by while we are marginalized, and while our youth are tormented so that they hang themselves. It's truly sad what self-loathing homos will allow to be heaped upon their bowing and scraping heads. Thank God, I'll never be one of them. ~~ Visit XJW Net

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Focus on the Family, Chris Hansen & the Easter-Egg 'Roll' gone wild.

(Matthew 7:1,3) 7 "Stop judging that YOU may not be judged; 3 Why, then, do you look at the straw in your brother's eye, but do not consider the rafter in your own eye? Those chipper folks over at Focus on the Family -- you know, those Moral Overlords more concerned with homo sex than the GayVN Awards -- have deftly, as is the habit of all evangelicals, skipped over the above Bible passage which would do them the most good; especially as one of their own falls prey to a Chris Hansen style underage sex sting. What's a pious predator to do in this board game that is life? Well, same as the non-believing predators -- go directly to jail. But wait, is everything as it seems? Pam's House Blend has the details on this Bible translator for Focus on the Family who tried to slither his way into the house of a little girl home alone. I went to FOF's website looking for some explanation for this horrendous blight on their good name, and the first thing I saw was an article that said -- Celebrating Easter with your Kids! That's when I had my eureka moment, that's what 42 year old Juan Ovalle was trying to do with a strange little girl under the age of 15. And the sex talk he had with her on the net was all a cover for the plump, and very Christian, Easter Egg 'Roll' he had planned to show her. Yes. That's all it was. I'm sure poor Juan will explain himself nicely in court. And the rest of you nasty bastards should be ashamed of what you were thinking. ~~

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Porn Stars N da Hood!

Yeah, Boyeeeee! Don't be surprised if Michael Lucas & his homies speed through the hood of one delicious young rival, guns pointing sideways (because its cool like dat), and blast every muthafuka in sight. Yeah. The gay porn world has gone straight-up gangsta. For reals. Suge Knight would be so proud. Queerty reports on the rap-style beef between porn Icon Michael Lucas and the industries neophyte pretender to that throne, Brent Corrigan. Corrigan, who began his porn career while still underage (to the delight of many, I'm sure) under the auspices of former Cobra Video owner (now murdered) Bryan Kocis (allegedly by a rival who wanted access to rising twinkie star, Brent - yeah, deep *pictured below with Harlow Cuadra who just went to prison for the murder*). Anyway ... Brent Corrigan has since started his own successful company and now, much to the chagrin of Michael Lucas, was even honored at the GAYVN awards. Oh, yeah, and when Lucas took the stage and shook his finger at the industry for praising the former jailbait morsel, he got booed! What happened next were confrontations between Brent's Latin boyfriend and Lucas, threats of acid attacks, beat downs, arrest allegations, and all manner of *ish, uh BS. All that's missing is Suge Knight dangling someone off a balcony. As you can tell, I find all this gay porn violence beyond hilarious. Brent is legal now, having turned a bad situation into a positive (and lucrative) one. Kudos to him. And this is not because I love Brent Corrigan, which I SO do. (Call me, Brent - I got your back.) But … Lucas is clearly sipping haterade, as he watches his own youthful beauty fade in the rearview mirror. Typical aging DIVA drama bullsh*t. Nothing new here. My advice to Mr. Lucas is to make headlines for something good for a change, instead of hating on a kid who must remind him of himself in years past, which, only makes him look like a frightened sissy douchebag. Pull it together Michael, there's nothing sadder than an old out of touch Queen still pining for one more close up. ~~