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September 26, 2010

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Hi Taylor! Thank you for this post!

This hateful rhetoric, and unfortunate legacy of the contemporary black church, Eddie Long, and others of his ilk has not only contributed to the condescension toward our existence and the eventual destruction of our physical bodies, but to the very SUICIDE and SOUL-KILL of our OWN SPIRIT!

Just the other day on Facebook, I addressed a young man who put up a status on the Eddie Long Mess, and just like I suspected he would, he rushed to defend Long. He would not hear that Long MIGHT be guilty! I've met this young man, and I sensed a real intelligence and warmness about him, but from day one I knew he was conflicted about his sexuality coming from a family of preachers, and growing up with a narrow church rhetoric on sexuality - NO MATTER HOW MANY OF THEM FAILED TO LIVE UP TO IT! He shocked, and almost hushed us all when he REFUSED to hear the he was NOT AN ABOMINATION, that he wasn't a CHRISTIAN DEFECT or one of GOD'S MISTAKES because after all - his DELIVERANCE was forthcoming in God's appointed time. He REJECTED hearing that the only deliverance he needed was from his own SELF-HATRED so much that he deleted his thread (and probably deleted those of us who were trying to show him a different experience). All he could do was SHOUT at us to READ OUR BIBLES because HOMOSEXUALITY IS OBVIOUSLY A SIN BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE BIBLE! He could offer no more defense, or reasoning than that!

And this is just ONE young man of a small group of young men I once had dinner with, looked at, and beamed with such hope for. All the while, this INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, and SELF-HATRED was boiling in ALL OF THEM ALL THE TIME. I see why! They're the quintessential YOUNG CHURCH QUEENS, but I didn't know it was LIKE THAT! Some of that group eventually came forth with and from the same perspective. It's like a spiritual schizophrenia. They run to the Prides, the clubs, dress, act and look real cute, and have real lives with real goals. Yet, they're also going to church every sunday, ACCEPTING AND ADMITTING to being second rate, second class "Christians" for approval from folk who laugh at them, disrespect them, and don't see them as HETERO-EQUAL! And for what? They won't study the WHO, WHAT, WHY, WHERE, and WHEN of the scripture they keep trying to quote because they don't believe in anything other than BIBLE LITERALISM!

SO WHAT DO YOU DO? In so many ways, they're doing the best they can to LIVE, but it's like THEY'RE DEAD INSIDE WHILE YET ALIVE!

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