SGL Café

Young, Black & GAY in America

Young, Black & GAY in America ... Xem Van Adams ... is an up-and-coming vlogger who's distinguished himself with frank discussions about sexuality, both his own and society's at large, a discussion many black vloggers choose not to have publicly.

Now long, fam'? Not long.

Happy King Day ... be inspired.

As black gay men we see this message as timeless and true, even when our own brethren try to keep us down. There is power in these words and LGBT citizens in America and beyond should be inspired by them. As the fall of Don't Ask/Don't Tell proves, conservative lies never stand for long. Not long at all. ~

About stuffy closets and glass ceilings...

Is being an Out Black man an impediment to success?

I was pleasantly surprised to hear about Dr. Raynard Kington, the first Black gay president of Grinnell college. In a world where far too many of our people believe living an open and authentic life is a barrier to success, here we have a glowing example that it is not. But the fact that I was "surprised" tells me that I don't always instantly believe it. I have to remind myself. There is a high level of "damaged goods" amongst Black gay men. We've had a tougher row to hoe growing up black and gay in a mostly 'churchified', hyper-masculine Black America where a drug-dealer gets more respect than an openly gay man. The "masculine journey" message featured above from Eddie Long's Longfellow's Youth Academy says it all - well, that and the anti-gay ranting Long's infamous and dizzying hypocrisy. Church vilification leads to the rise of the down-low and other self-destructive behavior, which, no doubt, explains the higher rate of HIV infections. Not disparaging my colorful and talented Black brethren, just relating a series of sad facts. Rob Smith - freelance writer, former contestant on I Want to work for Diddy, and army vet - said it best in this HuffPo piece about Defarra 'Dean' Gaymon (the Black CEO of Credit Union of Atlanta, who was shot and killed July '10 by an undercover cop in Newark in a known gay cruising area in a botched sex-sting operation): "From the "no homo" in hip-hop culture to the gay hate preached from the pulpits, African-Americans teach each other and our young people that being gay isn't only a bad thing, it's the worst thing. By doing so, Black culture shoves men like Defarra Gaymon deeper into the closet every day. Having been lucky enough not to be raised in a church that preached homophobic messages or with family members that were vocally opposed to gays, I wonder what kind of messages Mr. Gaymon was exposed to during his upbringing. I wonder what his friends, family, and church thought about gay people. I wonder what ideas or thoughts he internalized during what I can only assume to be the many years spent struggling with his sexuality."
In a discussion about Gaymon, a friend insisted that the married with children Gaymon never would have acheived such success in the corporate world had he come out. There is some truth to what he said. Some would even say that it is easier to break this taboo in academia than it is in the corporate world. The same people might parse between fields like Hollywood, professional sports, or the music industry. But it's never easy to be the first anything, no matter what field of endeavor. The first to break though any glass ceiling will likely bleed. It takes balls. The first step is to embrace this reality, this crystal clear inevitability. Someone will always be the first. Why not you? The thing about glass ceilings is, hell, they're glass, which means they are poised to shatter at any given moment. The next 1st Black gay (fill in the blank) is just a brief, soul-searching internal struggle away.
Back to Dr. Raynard Kington.. This is a little out of left field but another friend lamented that he was saddened that Kington was not with another black man. While it would have been wonderful to have a Black male power-couple in this story, alas, love is love and Kington fell for someone who wasn't Black. Such is life. But Dr. Kington found love. He shattered a ceiling. He's living life authentically. And that's all that should matter to anyone. ~

Iowa still leading the way! Dr. Raynard Kington: first black gay president of Grinnell College

Des Moine Register "Dr. Kington is really a remarkable individual," said search committee chairman Paul Risser, a former president of both Oregon State University and Miami University in Ohio. "Just his presence and stature will be important not only for Grinnell but the whole state. ... I think Iowa will be very proud." The installation of a black, gay man to lead one of the state's top colleges would have raised eyebrows in Iowa not so long ago. Kington himself said as much in a speech on campus, shortly after accepting the job. "I feel compelled to acknowledge the special pride I feel as the great-grandson of slaves to be here today at this institution whose founders were active participants in our country's abolitionist movement," he said in the address, which the college posted to YouTube [below]. Dr. Kington's speech below is heartwarming, as is the presence of his family - including his young son who kept interrupting. Delightful. This lets us know that despite "pro-family" hate groups pouring money into Iowa to overthrow all proponents of equality, Iowa is still leading the charge toward progressive change and equality for all. Dr. Kington's beautiful family is a shining example of an authentic life well lived, of what could be and will be on a national scale. He and Iowa are truly an inspiration to us all to keep up the fight for our rights.

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Mighty Real: a new millenium anthology destined to become a classic!

It seems like ages ago and oddly just like yesterday when I was first approached to participate in this ambitious endeavor. A new millenium collection of black gay literati to combine their voices for one memorable, historic work. In the honorable and noble tradition of In the Life: A Black Gay Anthology, Brother to Brother: New Writings by Black Gay Men, and Shade: An Anthology of Fiction by Gay Men of African Descent, comes Mighty Real. At a whopping 737 pages, this newest addition to the lexicon of Same Gender Loving Literature "features both new and established writers. Grounded in a poignant and truthful sensibility, imbued with the realities of sex and love, Smith and Williams present a culmination of poems, short stories, radical essays, sermons, plays and interviews honoring notable figures within the SGLBT community." So put on some sounds from our tearfully soulful, gender-bending, trend-setting icon of yesterday, the late-great Sylvester [who's song "You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)" began a disco anthem] - and sooth your souls with our griots of today.

Reteaching Gender and Sexuality from Sid Jordan on Vimeo.